


Playground Love

by Clexnation



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Artist Clarke Griffin, Brain Damage, CEO Lexa (The 100), Car Accidents, Childhood Friends, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loss of Virginity, Parent Clarke Griffin, Parent Lexa (The 100), Past Child Abuse, Soulmates, Temporary Amnesia, Young Love, abusive titus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clexnation/pseuds/Clexnation
Summary: Clarke Griffin didn't know she believed in love at first sight until blue eyes met green. The rest was history.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 46
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

The early light was shining into the room. Clarke studied the girl asleep in the bed in front of her. Taking in her luscious brown curls that splayed across the pillow, her high cheekbones, razor-sharp jawline, and plump kissable lips. She had never been so in love with someone. But that love had always been there she supposed. From the very first-day forest green eyes connected with sky blue. Their love story started in kindergarten. Although at the time, they didn't know what it was. How could they at that age she thought with a chuckle. 

Clarke Griffin was a girl with a plan. Always prepared and ready to take on the world. She wanted to be the very best. That plan however went out the window when a young Lexa Woods walked cautiously through the classroom door. She was small with big curious green eyes. The small girl was being held back by an older bald man with a stern face. Lexa clutched her green backpack to her chest like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. 

Clarke admired her beautiful tan skin and her wild brown curls. Despite all the cheesy Hallmark movies her parents watched, Clarke never really believed in love at first sight. Or she wasn't sure she'd ever feel such a strong pull to someone. That was until this very day. She watched with peaked interest as the girl nervously made her way into the classroom. Her father always keeping a hand on her shoulder and Lexa winced when his grip tightened. 

She didn't like the feeling she got seeing her in pain. She still doesn't like seeing her in pain today. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The teacher clapping her hands to get everyone's attention pulled her from her thoughts. Clarke had a plan. But that plan was long forgotten as she stole glances at the quiet girl across from her all of the class. Eventually, the lunch bell rang and everyone lined up with their lunch bags. 

Lexa sat at the far end of the U-shaped table, away from everyone. She seemed happy within her own thoughts. That part is still true with the woman before her today. Clarke set a face of determination and walked up to the girl.

"Can I sit here?" She asked 

Lexa looked at her with wide eyes and furrowed brows, clutching her sandwich tightly 

"My name is Clarke Griffin." She said with a toothy smile 

Lexa's lip twitched into an adorable half reserved smile. She gave a tiny nod and Clarke sat down next to her. 

"What is your name?" Clarke asked 

"Lexa." She said hesitantly as if unsure she even wanted to share 

It wasn't long before Clarke was able to get a small laugh out of the other girl. Lexa was quiet and reserved in nature but not for Clarke. Later during recess, they were swinging next to each other sharing laughs and stealing small glances at one another. 

Clarke went home that day with a huge smile on her face and the name Lexa ringing in her mind like a song stuck on replay. From that day forward the two were practically inseparable. 

"Klawk!" Lexa would shout with a smile every day after her guardian left

She had trouble with the blonde girl's name. Something Murphy and Finn would tease her for. Clarke was quick to defend her new friend. She even landed herself in the principal's office for pushing Murphy after he had broken all of Lexa's crayons. She hated seeing tears fall out of those green orbs. 

Her mother was not pleased, to say the least when she had to leave her shift at the hospital to pick up Clarke for disrupting class. The blonde girl, however, regretted nothing. That day was the first time she got to hold Lexa's hand in her own. After defending her against the trouble maker Murphy, Lexa had grabbed onto her hand to stop her from doing any further damage. She gave her hand a gentle squeeze even as tears continued to spill out of her eyes. 

Lexa avoided physical contact with others. Clarke had learned that early on. There was always a respectful distance between the two and anytime Clarke had tried to initiate a hug, Lexa quickly shuffled backward with fear in her eyes. She didn't understand it at the time. How could she have? she was young and shielded from the terrible things that happen in the world. 

It wasn't until one fateful day in the third grade, that Clarke's eyes were opened to the cruel world she lived in. She was never meant to see it. Part of her wondered how long it would have taken her to realize what was going on if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes that day. Gym class was finally over. She never liked gym class. She knew she wasn't meant for sports. Clumsy and uncoordinated are the words Jasper and Murphy would use to describe Clarke Griffin. They were spot on in many ways. 

Lexa Woods, however, was very coordinated. She could easily keep up with the boys on the rope climb and make a mockery of the children in soccer. It was five minutes before the end of class and the coach had let them go early that day. Giving them all time to get cleaned up. Clarke went to one of the bathroom stalls, while everyone else set about changing and fixing their appearances. 

Lexa normally changed in one of the bathroom stalls away from prying eyes. But that day was especially crowded. Her anxiety was at an all-time high as she played with the hem of her sweaty shirt while pacing back and forth. The bell eventually rang and Lexa groaned and hit her head on the locker in frustration.

Students all quickly filed out. The locker room was quiet and Lexa didn't bother with the bathroom stall thinking she was all to herself. She had lifted the hem of her shirt over her head and threw it on the bench. At that moment Clarke had made her way out of the stall, having changed. 

The sound of a backpack hitting the floor caused Lexa to spin around with wide eyes while covering her chest with her hands. 

"Klawk," Lexa said in shock 

"Lexa... you're hurt," Clarke said as she took a step closer 

Lexa retreated back a step

"I... I fell." Lexa said nervously as she tried to reach for her clean shirt while still covering her chest

"But there's a handprint Lexa," Clarke said with tears stinging her eyes 

"Shh." Lexa hissed as she quickly pulled her shirt over her head

"What happened?" Clarke asked with concern 

"I fell... I have to go to class." Lexa says as she quickly gathered her things 

Clarke was left standing there with her mouth wide open

She couldn't focus at all the rest of the day. She kept looking over at Lexa with sad eyes. The girl's closed-off demeanor had been a result of her home life. She did not understand how someone could do that. Hurt someone else like that. A child nonetheless. 

When the bell finally rang indicating the day was over, Lexa was quick to grab Clarke's wrist outside. 

"You can't tell anyone." Lexa stuttered 

Clarke looked at her in disbelief "You have to tell someone. The teacher or my mom. She's a doctor. She can help!" She said 

"No. Promise me Klawk," Lexa said with wide green eyes searching hers

She hesitantly agreed 

Although Clarke kept her promise, it ate away at her slowly. She tried even harder to love Lexa. She wanted nothing more than to see the girl happy and smiling every day she was at school. That happiness didn't last, however. No matter the long clothing she wore, the bruises couldn't stay hidden forever.

Eventually, the school found out. It wasn't until the fifth grade when Lexa broke her arm on the playground. Clarke remembers her yelp of pain like it was yesterday. She sat with her and wiped her tears as the girl held her broken arm tightly to her chest. They wound up in the nurse's room. 

Clarke's mom had come to check her out early that day for a dentist appointment. She was quite surprised to see Clarke sitting in the nurse's room when she went to the front office. 

"Clarke honey, what are you doing here?" Abby asked 

"Lexa hurt her arm," Clarke said as she turned her head around, revealing puffy red eyes and a snotty nose

Abby came into the room and looked around 

"Where is Lexa?" She asked 

Clarke pointed to the curtain on the far side of the room 

Abby made her way over just as the nurse was exiting the curtain and quickly shutting it. 

"I'll be right with you ma'am." The nurse says as she quickly picks up the phone and dials into it. 

"We have a situation in the nurse's office. I need the principal immediately." She said into the phone before hanging up

Abby looked at her with furrowed brows "I am a doctor, my daughter said her friend hurt her arm. May I check it?" She asked 

The nurses pulled Abby aside and they both spoke in hushed whispers. Abby's face went from shocked to neutral in the blink of an eye. She nodded and pulled the curtain back revealing a sniffling Lexa on the small bed. 

"Hello Lexa, my name is Abby. I'm Clarke's mom. I'm a doctor. Do you mind if I take a look at your arm?" Abby asks 

Lexa looks at her hesitantly and then looked across at Clarke. She turned her eyes back to Abby and gave her a nod. Abby examined her arm carefully as the small girl winced in pain. Her bottom lip trembling. 

"It's broken. You'll need to go to the hospital to get a cast on it." Abby says 

Lexa shook her head frantically "I'm okay." She choked out 

"You aren't okay Lexa. If you don't get a cast, it won't heal properly. You will be in tremendous pain." Abby said slowly 

The principal chatted away with the nurse and soon officers and a social worker were joining them in the office. The social worker sank down on her knees and asked Lexa how she got the bruises on her body. Lexa looked petrified. The social workers asked her simple questions and Lexa reluctantly answered her questions. How her guardian had a temper and would lash out at her. 

She told them how her parents had died when she was younger and how Titus became her guardian. The social worker explained what was going to happen, while the police officers took statements. Abby offered to take her to the hospital since she was the lead trauma surgeon at Tondc memorial hospital. 

The social worker had followed them there and Abby let Lexa pick out her cast color. She of course picked her favorite color, green. She had let Clarke sign her name on it. It put the biggest smile on the girl's face she had ever seen at that time. Abby had offered to take Lexa home with her until they could figure out her living situation. The social worker exchanged information with her and said she would be in touch in the morning. 

Clarke intertwined her hand with Lexa's in the back of the car. That night had been one of the best nights of the young girl's life. Jake had made them mac n cheese for dinner and let them have cookies for dessert. Clarke had let Lexa borrow her favorite pajamas. The two fell asleep entangled with one another. 

Unfortunately, Lexa became a kid plagued by the foster system. She bounced from home to home. Some were nice, others not so nice. Through it all, the only constant in her life was Clarke Griffin. That was until her current foster home didn't work out. The guy was apparently an alcoholic and the mother was a deadbeat looking for an easy check. 

Clarke had tears in her eyes when Lexa told her she was moving again. This time it wasn't around town, it was into another town. One over an hour away. She was moving into a home with a stern woman named Indra and a bigger man named Gustus. They both seemed nice. They already had a foster child living with them for some time. Anya was her name. She was a few years older than her. 

She didn't see her best friend after that. Clarke was heartbroken for days.


	2. Chapter Two

It was the first day of junior year. The horn honked outside and Clarke said a list of curse words under her breath as she rushed to grab all her things. 

"Hurry up princess or you're walking." Bellamy chuckled 

Bellamy Blake. She had met him when she was in seventh grade. Clarke became close with his younger sister Octavia. Bell was a senior and also the only one in their friend group with a car. 

Clarke squeezed into the car. Raven, Wells, Octavia were already in the vehicle. 

"Murphy, Finn, and Jasper haven't even left yet." Raven chuckled as she looked at a text on her phone 

"You act surprised?" Bellamy says flashing a smirk in the rearview mirror toward Raven 

"Oh shut it, bell boy. Just drive." She scoffed 

They made their way to homeroom and were all caught up in their own conversations until attendance was called. 

"Alexandria?" The teacher called 

Nobody answered 

Suddenly the door opened and in came Lexa fucking Woods. Wow was the only word that came to mind as Clarke looked over the older girl. Puberty did her well, Clarke thought. 

"And you are? besides late?" The teacher asked with a raised brow 

The class erupted in laughter causing Lexa's face to go red

"Um, Lexa Woods." She said with her hands together in front of her while bouncing slightly on her heels 

"Alexandria Woods?" He asked 

"Yes but I just go by Lexa." She replied 

"Noted. Take a seat, Lexa." He says 

She nodded and quickly picked the first seat she saw

The teacher continued to call out the students names alphabetically by first name

"Clarke Griffin?" He asked 

Lexa's brows furrow 

"Here," Clarke said clearing her throat

Lexa's green eyes darted over to her and her mouth went slightly agape. 

Clarke blushed at the intense stare from the other girl. Lexa quickly diverted her eyes. 

It wasn't until the bell rang did both of them quickly move out of the class and into the empty hall. Lexa began to walk towards her locker when Clarke grabbed her by the wrist. 

"Lexa." She said 

Lexa quickly jerked her wrist away and turned around with an unreadable expression 

Clarke took a step backward thinking she might have crossed personal boundaries

"Clarke," Lexa said with a heavy click of a K instead of C. Clarke almost missed the way a young Lexa would say her name. Over were the days of Klawk. 

They both raked over each other for a moment. Lexa was wearing a dark orange sleeveless crop top with a flannel tied around her waist. Black skinny jeans with holes in the knees and black converse. Her hair half up and braided down the back. Her black eyeliner really made her green eyes pop Clarke thought.

Lexa took in Clarke and she was just breathtaking. They definitely were no longer kids. Clarke's gifted cleavage on display in her beautiful sundress. 

The intense starring was broken when someone bumped into Clarke, sending her tumbling into Lexa. The older girl's hands gripping Clarke's hips to steady her. Clarke's hands gripping on Lexa's arms. She looked up into Lexa's eyes. Both faces featuring a blush.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Clarke asked 

"I transferred here. Indra had a job opportunity in town, so we moved." She says 

"So you live here again?" Clarke asks 

Lexa gave a nod 

"Are you okay?... is everything with them okay?" Clarke asked quietly 

"Yes, Clarke. They treat me better than I've ever been." Lexa replies 

"I'm glad. I've missed you." Clarke says sincerely 

Lexa's famous half-smile formed on her face 

Suddenly the bell rang and the halls were soon cleared 

"Well, I should um get going," Lexa said as she removed her hands from Clarke's hips 

"Yea.. um, I guess I will see you around?" Clarke asks taking a step back

"See you around Griffin." Lexa chuckled as she walked away 

Clarke's heart thumped in her chest. Lexa may have captivated her as a child but she is breathtakingly gorgeous now. It should be illegal to be that beautiful Clarke thought. She doesn't even remember what happened in her next class. Her mind captivated by those forest-green eyes and that half-smile. 

Octavia, Lexa, and Anya had made the varsity soccer team later that week. Bellamy and Lincoln made the football team. Clarke and Lexa started slowly reconnecting. Clarke introduced Lexa to all of her friends and soon Anya was tagging along with them. Raven and Anya seemed to hit it off much to Finn's dismay. He got caught cheating on Raven with Clarke a few years back and both girls steer clear of his fuckboy ways now. For the record, Clarke didn't know Raven existed at the time. She had no idea she was the other woman. 

Clarke and her friends had all gone to the first soccer game of the season a few weeks later. Lexa, Anya, and Octavia were like a well-oiled machine on the field. Octavia playing left wing and Anya center field. Lexa was their star striker. They slaughtered the opposing team in the first ten minutes of the game. The coach was speechless. Their soccer team was never a big fuss years prior but the students all seemed to know that this year would be different. 

After the game, the girls collected their stuff and exited the field. Clarke immediately was drawn to Lexa. 

"You were amazing. I didn't know you could play. Well I mean we played as kids in gym class but you know what I mean." Clarke says grabbing the back of her neck as she tripped over her words

"My previous school had a team. Anya and I played but the school wasn't exactly as wealthy as this one..." Lexa says 

"Well, it looks like it's a good fit for you Woods," Clarke says 

Clarke and Lexa had danced around each other for weeks until the homecoming game's after-party. She cherished the memory for years to come. Much to Wells's dismay, Clarke's lifelong Bestfriend. What was the start of the rest of her life, was one of the worst nights of his. He had been working up the courage for years to tell Clarke how he felt. How in love he was with her and how he wanted to take her on a date. 

It was the night of the homecoming game. The stadium was packed due to the buzzing news in town about the girl's soccer team. Clarke's dad, an avid soccer fan, was there that night. Of course, he sat with the other parents he recognized. It was a small community after all. Everyone seemed to know everyone. Indra and Gustus came to every single game religiously. They kept to themselves but they were supportive parents to both girls. 

The game was very heated. There was a player who was constantly trying to pick a fight with Lexa. She would slide tackle her and try and pull her back by her jersey when the ref wasn't looking. It was the last minute of a tied game. Anya kicked the ball to Octavia who shot it across to Lexa. She dribbled the ball effortlessly dogging a few defenders. As she was in the penalty box area, she quickly kicked the ball with the timer counting down the remaining seconds. 

Right as the ball left her foot, the aggressive player slide tackled into her, taking her feet out from under her. The crowd watched the ball, as it went past the goalie into the net as the final buzzer sounded. The crowd roared into cheer and everyone stood up throughout the stadium. Anya pulled Lexa up and the team all celebrated. 

Finn was hosting a party that night. Lexa of course would be going. Clarke had told her dad she was crashing with Octavia. Which in her defense was true. The Blake's parents were out of town that week. Clarke wore a low-cut sheer top that showed off a lacy black bra and a pair of high-waisted white skinny jeans. Lexa was in a dark yellow low-cut crop top that did wonders for her smaller breasts and black skinny jeans. She let her wild brown curls be free that night. 

Their group all chatted it up and were playing drinking games. Clarke and Lexa stealing occasional glances. Wells had decided tonight was the night. He was going to ask Clarke to homecoming and tell her how he felt. Well... that was the plan at least until spin the bottle happened. 

Octavia got to make out with Lincoln much to Bellamy's protest. Finn and Jasper were whistling and egging them on. The group laughed. Anya got paired with Raven in a steamy kiss that had Finn's jaw-dropping and steam coming out of his ears. 

"Alright princess, you're up," Bellamy says with a smirk 

Clarke spins the bottle and it lands on Lexa. Both their cheeks redden 

Murphy and Jasper whistle loudly and clap. Wells looked mortified. 

Clarke cleared her throat and faced Lexa. Her green eyes searching her own. Flickering from her eyes to her lips and then back up to meet her eyes. 

"Are you okay with this?" Clarke asks softly 

Lexa didn't reply. Instead, she put a hand behind Clarke's neck and pulls her in for a slow soft kiss. Clarke was initially shocked but then kissed back. Everyone at the table was silent watching the two girls get lost in the kiss. 

One of Clarke's hands tangled in brown locks while the other fell to the small of her back. Lexa's hand moves from behind her head to cup her cheek as she deepened the kiss. 

"Get a room!" Anya said making a fake barfing sound 

Lexa pulled away and they both looked into each other's eyes and then down to kiss swollen lips. They both shared a laugh as their cheeks had a slight red shade to them. They went back to their warm beer in the red solo cups. The drinking games continued from there. As the drinks flowed, Clarke moved closer to Lexa throughout the night. Eventually, Lexa's arm was wrapped around her waist, as she was leaning her back against the other girl's front. 

"Alright, it's getting late. We should all head out." Bellamy says 

"You good to drive?" Finn asks 

"No, but Echo said she'd drive us," Bellamy replies shooting him finger guns 

Everyone had started to get up and get their things together

"We'll be outside Bel," Octavia says walking out with Lincoln 

Lexa headed out front and Anya gave her a smirk. Lexa nudged her shoulder and rolled her eyes. 

Clarke came outside "Lex." She says with a smile 

"Klark?" Lexa replies with a raised brow 

"Will you go to prom with me?" Clarke asked as she bit her bottom lip and then darted her eyes to the ground

"I'd love to," Lexa replies tipping her chin up and placing a kiss on her lips 

"Bout damn time," Raven says 

They broke from the kiss laughing. Clarke shot raven the finger. 

"Hey uh, Clarke. Can I talk with you?" Wells says exiting the house

"Um sure. But we are leaving soon." Clarke says moving away from Lexa

They walk over towards the side of the house 

"Clarke, I wanted to know if you would go to prom with me?" Wells asks nervously 

"I kind of already have a date," Clarke says 

"Oh," Wells replied

"I'm sorry," Clarke says 

"That's okay. I should have asked sooner. I was just nervous I guess. But do you think maybe we could go out on a date sometime? since you already have a date for homecoming. I've liked you for a while now but I didn't really know how to bring it up." Wells stutters out 

"I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way..." Clarke replies staring at her shoes 

"Is it because of her?" Wells asks with slight anger 

"Yes and no. I want to see if Lexa and I could be something. But no, even if she wasn't in the picture... I wouldn't feel the same way. I'm sorry Wells." Clarke says 

Bellamy whistled loudly 

"Your chariot awaits princess." He says 

Everyone busts out in drunken laughter 

"I should go," Clarke says 

"Uh, yea," Wells replies rubbing the back of his neck

That night was the first time Wells Jaha had gotten wasted. That was also the first night Lexa and Clarke had slept in the same bed since they were kids. Not a lot had changed in some ways. They woke with their limbs tangled just as much as they did as kids. 

Clarke ran her hand through wild brown curls as the girl laid peacefully asleep on her chest. Clarke and Lexa finally exchanged phone numbers later that morning. Clarke felt like she was on cloud 9.


	3. Chapter Three

Lexa had fallen asleep under the bleachers during lunch. Her group of friends would all eat out there on a big picnic blanket. Lexa was exhausted from the early morning practices lately. It probably had something to do with her and Clarke staying up all night talking on the phone. 

Clarke studied the beautiful sleeping girl. As Lexa rolled onto her side, her shirt had slightly risen up in the back, showing the bottom of a tattoo in between the space of her shirt and flannel around her waist. Clarke itched to trace it with her fingers. She knew Lexa had a tattoo on her arm. A tribal one. Lincoln had a tribal tattoo as well but that behind his ear and extended down his neck. 

Clarke had been sketching Lexa while she slept but now that she rolled over, she wouldn't be able to finish it. Still, she smiled at the masterpiece in front of her. The sketch was alright too she guessed. 

"Earth to Griffin," Raven said snapping her fingers 

"Hmm, what?" Clarke asked looking over at the girl 

"Stop staring. It's creepy." Raven says 

Everyone laughs 

"I wasn't... whatever Rae," Clarke grumbled 

The lunch bell rang and everyone groaned at the thought of having to go back to class. The group cleared out leaving Clarke and Lexa. 

"Lex," Clarke said softly shaking the girl 

Green eyes fluttered open and she stretched exposing her toned stomach. Clarke's breath caught in her throat. Lexa gave her a sleepy smile before moving to get up. 

That day ended up being one of the most tragic in Clarke's life thus far. When Lexa went home she was told reluctantly that she is being sent back to live with Titus. Lexa didn't understand and spiraled with various emotions.

"What did I do wrong?" Lexa asked as tears fell down her face

"You did nothing wrong child. It's the state. He went to court for guardianship. Your parents had left your care to him. They are giving him another chance, unfortunately." Gustus says reluctantly 

"I don't want to live with him," Lexa replied shaking her head frantically 

"You know what he did to her. Why would you allow her to go back there?" Anya spat holding onto Lexa

"It's not up to us. We will seek legal counsel and see what can be done. But you are still underaged Lexa. You fall under the system." Indra says 

The social worker gave her time to collect her things. 

"I don't see why you're even packing. You know you'll be right back here." Anya says 

Lexa remained quiet and packed her clothes. She stared out the car window watching the closest thing she had to a family disappear in the distance. 

Titus had a sinister smile on his face when he welcomed her. Her stomach turned as he puts his hand on her shoulder and waved to the social worker. She cried herself to sleep that night and for many more to come. 

It wasn't until homecoming that Clarke knew something was wrong. They were all getting ready at her house and Lexa had moved to change in the bathroom. It wasn't like she had seen Lexa naked at this age. But she couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that there was more to it than being modest. She took a deep breath and walked into the room and gasped seeing Lexa's exposed back. 

"You have to stop walking in on me while I'm changing Griffin," Lexa replied 

"Lexa..." Clarke said as she shut the door and hesitantly touched the deep purple bruising on her back

Lexa took a deep breath trying to hold back tears 

"Can you just zip me up?" Lexa asked softly 

"Lex... we need to talk about this," Clarke said as she zipped up her dress and kissed her shoulder blades that poked out from the dress. 

"Not tonight. We can deal with it tomorrow," Lexa says as she turns around and cups Clarke's face

Clarke stared into her eyes torn with herself

"Just make me forget for a night, Clarke. Let's go to the dance and have fun with our friends. Please." Lexa says softly 

"Okay," Clarke said 

The dance was probably the most magical night of her life until it went south... She danced the night away with Lexa. The two love birds were absolutely lost in each other. Clarke had taken Lexa home with her. She snuck her upstairs while her parents were asleep and they made love for the first time. It was everything Clarke dreamt her first time being. It was passionate and tender at the same time. Every inch of her felt loved. 

"I have to go," Lexa said reluctantly facing the window in the warm bed 

"Shhh," Clarke said tightening the arm she had draped around her waist and pulling her closer 

"Clarke... I can't be out past curfew." Lexa said more seriously sitting up in the bed

"I don't want you to leave," Clarke said rubbing her hand down the older girls back

"I know," Lexa replied as she moved out of the bed 

After a chaste kiss, Clarke helped her back into her dress. Lexa reluctantly went back home.

She will never forget what was waiting for her when she got home. A heated discussion turned physical in a matter of seconds when entering the door. That's how Lexa found herself waking up in Abby's emergency room at 3 am. Her head pounding as her eyes fluttered open. 

The sound of machines beeping and hushed murmurs outside causing her brows to furrow. 

"Lexa..." Clarke sobbed 

Lexa turned her head and looked at a very distraught Clarke

"Klark?" Lexa asked

"Welcome back Lexa," Abby said as she entered the room with the social worker and two officers 

"Dr.Griffin." Lexa greeted 

"I'm officer Moore and I'm here to take your statement." He said pulling out a pad of notepad and pen

Lexa nodded and told them what had transpired. Leaving out Titus's comments about knowing of her and Clarke's relationship and his thoughts on it.

"I'm sorry it came to this Lexa." The social worker said 

"What did you think would happen. I didn't want to be there and you forced me to go." Lexa sneered 

"I'm just doing my job." The woman replied 

"Well, you suck at it. Where are you shipping me off to next?" Lexa asked with a sigh 

"Indra and Gustus filed for adoption. They want to adopt you and Anya. If that is what you'd like." She replied 

"They want... to adopt me?" Lexa asked softly 

"Yes." She replied 

Abby opened the door letting Indra, Gustus, and Anya come in

Despite the tragedies she had endured in her life, Lexa flourished. She was adopted and went on to win a full ride to every Ivy League college for soccer. Their high school team was undefeated for the two years Lexa played. She accepted a full ride to Harvard University, majoring in business. Clarke had originally gone to Yale to follow in her mother's footsteps but decided it wasn't her passion. Instead, she transferred to a local college near Lexa and dove into the arts program. 

Her mother was disappointed, to say the least, but still supported her decision. Upon graduating, Lexa launched her own business with her sister Anya. They created Woods Inc. 

They were exceptionally broke after exiting college. Mountains of debt were in Clarke's name. Lexa had a full ride while in college but she hurt her leg and couldn't play soccer anymore. She was cut from the team and accumulated her own debt her junior and senior year. Abby and Indra were very concerned. They signed for an affordable apartment. It was maybe 500 sqft. They took Clarke's bed and a dresser. They didn't really have any furniture but they didn't care. They spent their nights on a blanket in their living room. Bel had given them an old projector screen and they would watch old movies together. 

They didn't want to bother their parents for anything. They wanted to be independent. Lexa picked up a job as a bartender to pay off her debt. Clarke picked up a job with her mother at the hospital as a filer. It wasn't glamorous but it paid the bills. Lexa had big dreams though. Clarke was initially nervous when her girlfriend told her she wanted to take out a personal loan to start her own business. She loved her but she was worried about the amount of money they already owed and she hadn't exactly been flourishing in her art. It made her want to reconsider med school. She felt like maybe she made a mistake. 

Lexa took the plunge with her sister. They took out a loan of $70,000 in both their names with Indra and Gustus as co-signers. They had a very lengthy discussion on the topic. Indra believed in her daughters but Gustus set a timeline. He said that he wanted the loan paid off within three years. They all agreed to it. Abby was very nervous about the girl's financial situation. But they all showed up on opening day for them for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. 

Lexa was the youngest CEO and became the youngest multi-millionaire within a year of opening its doors. Lexa paid off the companies loan within the first few months. She went on to pay off her and her girlfriend's college loans within six months. They bought their first townhouse together that same year. The company went global within five years. She fully supported Clarke in her art endeavors. She even surprised her with her own art studio downtown one day. Her girlfriend cried like a baby. Lexa had always supported her in whatever she wanted to do in life. Clarke aimed to have a showcase within a year's time.


	4. Chapter Four

They spent many nights in that empty studio. From painting it to eating takeout on the floor and just sitting and envisioning their future together. Clarke knew this was the type of love people write books and movies about. Lexa proposed to Clarke in that very studio and they were married that same year. They bought their first real home together when they returned from their honeymoon. It was everything they wanted and more. Something straight out of a magazine. 

Things were amazing for the young married couple. Two years following, they welcomed their first child Becca. She looked just like Lexa. They decided to use the brunette's eggs for their first child. Clarke carried Becca to term. 

It was such a beautiful time in their lives. They were so scared and excited at the same time. She remembers getting the call at work that they were pregnant. She cried like an idiot. She let the entire office know she was going to be a mom. She rushed home and made love to her pregnant wife all night long. They were so in love. All their friends and family said it was the honeymoon phase early on but they just seemed to permanently live in that happy bubble. 

Sure they had their fair share of spats and disagreements but it rarely lasted. They were best friends. They shared everything. Every success and every failure. Lexa was so incredibly blessed to have such a loving wife. She had never felt so safe and loved than when she was in Clarke's arms. She was excited to raise a child in a loving household. 

Clarke grew bigger and bigger with each week. Her gallery became a huge success over time. She would earn top dollar for her artwork. Her wife was her biggest fan and number one supporter. No matter how busy she got with traveling and work, she went to every single event the blonde had. She was a proud wife. In the CEO'S office, there was a row of framed photos. From a class photo as children to the high school prom to high school graduation, college graduation, Lexa outside this very building cutting the ribbon with her wife, their wedding, and the gallery's opening night. 

They were the talk of their hometown with their love and shared success. Lexa was the most supportive and loving person throughout her pregnancy. It wasn't the easiest for her. She was nauseous every single morning throughout the first six months. It was miserable for her. But even after her wife worked hard all day, she'd come home and cook her dinner and take care of everything from cleaning to helping her take a bath. 

She loved talking to their little bump. She would lay by her wife's stomach and whisper sweet nothings all night long. She slept religiously with one hand on their bump. Clarke knew she'd be an amazing mother. Lexa read every single baby book there was in the local bookstore. She spent her time doing endless research and dragged Clarke to different classes so they'd be prepared. 

Shopping for the nursery was a full-on family event. Everyone was there to watch Lexa pace back and forth between cribs and strollers. Raven fell asleep in the test crib while everyone else debated with Clarke over colors. Clarke snapped a photo of it and they framed it in the baby room as a joke. They bought that very crib. Indra and Abby went all out and got them so many things they didn't even think of. 

Lexa baby-proofed the house from doorknobs and cabinets to the pool. They had their yard fenced in and installed a retractable pool cover. Lexa paid top dollar for pool alarms to be installed so if anyone went in the water when the system was turned on, it would alert them. She had security systems put up and bought the latest baby monitoring system. She even got some kind of device that goes on your baby while they sleep and alerts them if their baby's heart rate dips to a dangerous level. 

Clarke thought it was a little over the top but she appreciated how her wife just wanted to make sure they were all safe. She took her role as a mom very seriously. Clarke knew their baby would have her wrapped around her little finger the second she's out of the womb. She had never been more right about something. 

Lexa almost missed their baby being born. Clarke's water broke and Lexa was states away for business. She immediately hopped on a private jet home. Clarke spent hours waiting to be dilated enough to push. She was in labor for 12 hours. The most challenging 12 hours of her entire life. She wanted to give up so many times. Every time her mother opened her mouth Clarke wanted to strangle her. 

Lexa ran through the hospital and stumbled into the room right as she was pushing the baby out. She was the first to cry when Becca came out. Their perfect 7 oz baby. She had that sun-kissed skin like her wife. Abby took her to get cleaned while Lexa took care of her exhausted wife. 

When she came back in with her granddaughter, Clarke was already asleep. Abby smiled and walked over to Lexa. 

"Meet your daughter." She said as she helped the young mother correctly hold the newborn 

Tears cascaded down her face as she looked down at their baby. Her baby. She couldn't believe the love she felt for this little creature. She knew she would do anything and everything she could for her baby girl to make sure she grew up with a normal life. One filled with love and compassion. 

"Do you have a name in mind?" Abby asks 

"Becca Xandria Woods," Lexa says as she runs the back of her finger along the tiny cheek 

Xandria was her mother's name. She was young when she lost her parents tragically but she never forgot her mother. She would remember the small things like her mother reading her bedtime stories and falling asleep with her in the child's small bed. She would always check under her bed and her closet for monsters. Lexa was terrified of the dark when she was a child. 

"I think she would love that Lexa," Abby says putting a hand on her shoulder 

Becca's tiny hand wrapped around her finger. Lexa watched curiously as the baby's tiny mouth opened as she let out a yawn. Clarke's eyes fluttered open and her heartfelt full at the sight of her girls. 

"Why wouldn't they name her after me? I'm awesome." Raven scoffs from outside 

"You can't be serious Rae..." Bellamy chuckles 

"You're just jealous because I'm going to bet her favorite aunt," Raven says crossing her arms 

Bellamy goes to open his mouth to argue that he wouldn't be an aunt but Anya just shakes her head and laughs 

"Alright children, behave or you're going back downstairs," Indra says 

"Yes, Ma'am." They all say in unison 

Abby opens the door and they all file into the room. Lexa walks to Clarke and places Becca on her chest carefully. 

"She looks just like you," Clarke says in awe as she looks at the tiny brown curls already on the child's head 

They all got acquainted that night. Their friends became the centerpiece of their lives and Becca's. They were a huge help in adjusting to their new life changes. Lexa couldn't take a whole lot of time off work to stay home. Her friends all alternated along with their mothers in helping Clarke. 

Time seemed to fly by that first year. From tiny yawns and closed eyes to loud laughs and babbling nonsense. She grew tremendously with each day. From being able to hold her own head up to being able to crawl. To her first words. Becca grew more and more each day and Lexa sometimes hated to walk out that door. She felt like she was missing a lifetime in the hours she was at work. 

They would facetime when she went on lunch or if she wasn't in a meeting and was just looking over reports. 

Everything was perfect until it wasn't. That seemed to be the reoccurring theme of her life. Always waiting for the shoe to drop. That night, the shoe definitely dropped. Becca was now three and could recite her ABCs like the back of her hand. She was walking around and causing nothing but terror in their household. Terrible two's was an understatement. The child had her mother's artistic nature. 

She drew all over the walls one day. But that wasn't as bad as the time she came home from work to tiny blue footprints and handprints all over every surface. Becca had broken into Clarke's paints that they kept in one of the spare bedrooms for those late nights her wife had inspiration but didn't want to drive to the studio. 

That morning was like most in many ways. Lexa was taking a shower while Clarke made breakfast for her girls. After finishing making breakfast, she looked at the clock. She knew she didn't have time to sit and eat with them today. So she packed her breakfast to go and poured a travel cup of coffee for her wife. 

"Babe you're going to be late!" Clarke yelled out 

"What are they going to do? fire me?" Lexa chuckled as she waltzed into the kitchen in her maroon ankle-length pants. It was one of Clarke's favorite pantsuit combos. She had on a v-cut black blouse that was tucked in. Black heels in hand and her maroon blazer laid over her arm. 

"I don't want to hear it from Anya that you're late." Clarke huffed

Lexa put her things down and moved to cut up Becca's pancakes for her. 

"Lexa!" Clarke said 

Becca was already grabbing tiny pieces and eating them with her hands. She grabbed a piece and held it up for her mother. Lexa laughed and opened her mouth for her. She ate the tiny piece and kissed Becca's cheek. 

Clarke already gathered all her things and put her food into her bag for her. Lexa moved over and kissed her wife and then grabbed her things and car keys and headed for the door. 

"Love you," Clarke shouted as the front door shut 

Lexa facetimed Clarke from the car

"Love you too." She says 

Clarke rolled her eyes 

"How is work going?" Lexa asked 

"Really well. The gala is set up to take place in a few weeks. You're going right?" Clarke asked biting her lip 

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just tell Octavia the date so she can clear my schedule." Lexa replied 

"How is that going by the way?" Clarke asked 

"She's a good assistant. She should be done with her masters soon and we can promote her." Lexa replied 

"Mama Klawk." Becca shrieked 

Lexa chuckled 

"Yes, my mini Lex?" Clarke asked with a raised brow. She flipped the phone around to show Lexa

"Mour peas," She says hitting her fist on the high chair 

"See she does take after you. Always hungry." Lexa joked

Clarke rolled her eyes "Say bye-bye to mommy so we can get breakfast wrapped up." She says 

Becca made a kissy face and waved her syrup and pancake covered hand 

"I love you both. Behave for your mother. I'll call you on the way home Klark." Lexa says 

Clarke hung up and continued her day. Lexa went through pointless meetings all day. She gathered her things and was practically running out the door to get home. She picked up flowers on the way home for Clarke and a stuffed gorilla for Becca. It became her favorite animal after a recent trip to the zoo. She thought it was an interesting choice of all animals but her daughter was just as curious about the gorilla as it was about her. They stayed at that portion of the zoo for hours. 

Lexa had been on her way home. She was exhausted after the long day. She just wanted to get home and give Becca a bath so they could finish reading the book they had started this week. She got an incoming call and smiled as she hit answer. 

"Hey babe, dinner is almost ready. I made your favorite." Clarke says 

"What did I do to deserve you?" Lexa asks 

Clarke smiled "You deserve the world. That comes in the form of chicken parm tonight." She says 

"I'm about ten minutes away. I picked up something for my girls." Lexa says with a grin looking at the passenger seat 

"Okay. We'll see you soon. It's starting to downpour over here, so drive safe babe." Clarke replied as she took the food out of the oven 

"I will," Lexa said before hanging up 

It all happened so fast. One minute she's changing the radio station and the next thing she knows the car next to her loses control and slams into her. Her car is sent tumbling over the median. They always say it only takes a second and that had never been more true. That split second changed the course of her life. 

She felt the vehicle tumble and the sound of crunching metal and breaking glass surrounded her. The radio still playing in the background like some low-budget horror film. Finally every stopped moving. Her vision was hazy and she groaned as her face sat against the airbag. She felt the blood dripping down her forehead. Her shaky hand tried to reach for where she saw her phone but she couldn't find her pocket. She saw headlights and heard a car horn and screeching tires. She looked over and her eyes went wide like a deer in the headlights. Everything went black from there. 

It had been an hour and Clarke was starting to get concerned. She dialed Lexa's phone.

Ambulances rolled up outside the E.R doors. The young interns rushed to claim their patients. There had apparently been a crash on the freeway. Multiple victims were coming in. 

"What do we have?" An intern Nicholas asked 

"Female in her twenties. The vehicle was hit by another and sent over the median. Was hit head-on by oncoming traffic. Pulse is weak." The paramedic says 

The intern shines a light into her eyes "Her pupils are blown. Page neuro, get a head ct, and get me an O.R!" Nicholas yelled out 

A cell phone started to ring. They all looked at each other and then down at the unconscious girl.

"O.R. 2 is ready for you!" A nurse called out

He nodded and handed the nurse the girl's phone. 

"She has no pulse. We're losing her. " Another nurse called out frantically

He climbed onto the bed straddling her and began doing compressions. "Get us to the O.R." He yelled 

They wheeled her away and other crash victims were flooding in. Their crash had caused a chain reaction of other crashes. 

"Hello." The nurse said when picking up the phone

"Who is this?" Clarke asked 

"The owner of this phone was involved in a car crash. Do you know her name?" The nurse says 

"Alexandria Woods. Is she okay?" Clarke asks as she stops what she is doing 

"Are you related to her?" The nurse asks 

"I'm her wife. What hospital is she at?" Clarke asked 

"Tondc memorial." The nurse replied 

"I'll be right there," Clarke said before hanging up 

It had been about thirty minutes since that call

Abby walked up to the front desk overhearing the hushed conversation between the newer nurses that were fresh out of nursing school. 

"What are you girls gossiping about now?" Abby joked 

"The woman that came in from the car crash is that hot CEO." One said 

"Which hot Ceo?" Abby asked with furrowed brows 

"Alexandria Woods." The other girl replied 

Abby's jaw dropped 

"I'm looking for Alexandria Woods. I'm her wife." Clarke says to the girl at the far end of the desk

"Clarke," Abby called 

Clarke looked over "Mom." She sobbed while clutching Becca 

"Can you get me an update on Mrs.Woods," Abby asked the nurse as she took the diaper bag from Clarke and lead her to the waiting area. 

Abby spoke on the phone with someone and came back over

"She's in surgery. She suffered damage to her brain." Abby says 

"What the hell happened?" Clarke asked 

"Someone ran into her and she tumbled into oncoming traffic and was hit head-on," Abby says 

"Oh my god," Clarke replies covering her mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head ct's are essential. Cough cough Grey's Anatomy.


	5. Chapter Five

Hours went by. She signed more paperwork than she had in her entire life that night. Becca was fast asleep in Clarke's arms. Everyone was in the waiting room at this point. They never tell you that waiting is the worst part. The not knowing. Your brain seems to think the worst when you're left with that much time. Clarke went through more scenarios than she thought humanly possible. What if she doesn't wake up? what if she's brain dead? what if was the start of every thought. She didn't want what if's. She just wanted to be held and told everything would be okay. 

Nothing felt okay though. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They had already put their hard years behind them. Well, Lexa had. She couldn't understand how life could continue to be so cruel to someone so damn perfect. Perfect... that was a word rarely used by the blonde. As an artist, it was a foreign word in her vocabulary. Her motto was more "it's as good as it's going to get." She would drive herself insane if she aimed for utter perfection. Her wife though was perfect to a fault. If she looked up the word in the dictionary she would expect to see a picture of her there. She strived for perfection in everything she did. From school to sports, to her company, and to their relationship. Despite everything life threw at that girl, she got back up ready for more each time. She was perfect by every means to her. Clarke closed her eyes and pleaded to no one in particular, to spare her wife. 

Abby walked out the double doors with the neurosurgeon who had operated the last few hours. They all stood up. He walked over to Clarke.

"Mrs. Woods, your wife is out of surgery. She suffered severe trauma to her brain. It was touch and go for a while but we were able to get the internal bleeding under control. She has a severe concussion, a few broken ribs, and a torn ligament in her right knee. These can be typical injuries related to head-on collisions. Right now we are most concerned with the damage to her brain." The surgeon says 

Clarke falls into the seat and can't help the sob that comes out 

"So what are we looking at?" Indra asks 

"It's hard to tell. We won't know more until she wakes." He says 

Gustus puts his hand on Indra's shoulder. "She's strong. She'll get through this." He says 

Raven squeezed Anya's hand. Abby took a look around the room of people. She watched these kids grow up over the years. The last time they were all at a hospital for Lexa was back in high school.

"You all can see her now." The dr says 

Bellamy held out his hands and Clarke handed over her sleeping girl. She was getting heavier and heavier. 

They all follow him towards her room. Clarke's lip trembles when her eyes lay upon her wife. 

"Oh, Lex..." She says looking at the bruised and battered girl. She had various machines surrounding her. The top of her head was wrapped in gauze and a white wrap to keep it in place. There was a little bit of blood that bleed through but she knew that was normal. 

Raven grabbed the chair from the corner and put it in front of the bed. She ushered for Clarke to sit down. She did without hesitation. She immediately reached out and grabbed her wife's hand. It was weird not seeing the wedding band on her wife's finger. She knew it was common for jewelry to be removed prior to surgery. Still, it was an odd sight. 

"I'll leave you to it." The dr says 

They all thank him and he leaves the room 

"Clarke, do you want to stay with her tonight or would you like one of us to?" Indra asks 

"I don't want to leave," Clarke says 

"That's not a problem. I'm assuming she'll be here for a bit. Anya and Raven can swing by your house and grab some clothes for you and a fresh pair of clothes for Lexa when she does wake." Indra says 

Clarke nodded. She pulled her keys out of her purse and handed them over to Raven. 

"There should be a stack of Lexa's clothes on the dryer. The black sweatpants are fine and my college sweatshirt. That worn-out one covered in paint. The one with the small holes in it. She loves wearing that thing." Clarke says wiping the tears from her face with one hand 

"Okay. How about we have Bel drive with us and we'll send him back here with the clothes. We'll stay there and put Becca to sleep." Raven says 

Clarke nods her head 

"Just take my car. It has her car seat in it." Clarke says 

Raven nods 

The three of them head out. Leaving Indra, Abby, Gustus, and Clarke. Octavia and Lincoln said they'd come by in the morning. After a few hours of them all sitting there, it was getting late. Abby left to get coffee from the main lobby for her. 

"Do you need anything before we go Clarke?" Indra asked 

"No. I'm fine," Clarke said rubbing her thumb across the top of her wife's hand. 

"We'll be back in the morning during regular visiting hours. We'll pick up breakfast." Indra says 

Clarke stands up and hugs Indra. 

"We're here for you. Anything you need." Indra says rubbing Clarke's back 

Clarke lets out a sob and nods her head. After a few moments she collects herself and she gives Gusuts a hug. 

"Drive safe. Let me know when you get home." Clarke says 

Indra nods

She watched them walk out the door. She took a deep breath and then went to the cabinet. She grabbed the clear plastic bag that held her wife's belongings from when she was brought in. She opened it and removed the bloodied and cut-up clothing. She set it aside. She found her cellphone. The screen was destroyed which wasn't surprising. She dug around in the bag until she found what she was looking for. Her wedding band. She put the rest of her thing back in the bag and stowed it away in the cabinet. 

She walked back over to the bed. She grabbed her wife's hand and slid on the ring. She kissed her hand and then gently kissed her wife's forehead. 

"Come back to me." She whispered 

She sat down in the chair and continued to hold her wife's hand and listened to the heart rate machine steadily beep with the rhythm of her heart. She watched the subtle rise and fall of her chest. After a while, she laid her head down on the bed and let sleep consume her. Abby walked into the room quietly. She put down the coffee cup. Bellamy had made it back to the hospital. He came into the room with a duffle bag.

"I brought her phone charger. Rae packed her a couple of changes of clothes and then the change of clothes for Lexa." He says 

Abby takes the bag from him and sets it down in front of the cabinet

"Let's leave them to rest. It's late Bel. Why don't you go stay at Clarke's." She says 

Bellamy lived about forty minutes away. Clarke lived about 10 minutes depending on the traffic but with it being so late, he should be able to get there faster. He took off his jacket and covered Clarke with it. He gave Abby a hug and left for the night. Abby knew she wasn't leaving the hospital. She went to one of the on-call rooms and laid down. She let herself fall asleep. 

Clarke's dreams were overrun with memories. 

"To the start of the rest of our lives!" Wells says raising his champagne glass 

"To the rest of our lives," Lexa says raising her glass and looking towards blue eyes 

Clarke smiled and raised her glass 

Their graduation party was one for the books. Finn's parents were out of town, so they decided to throw one last rager before they all headed off to college. Wells and Clarke were off to Yale. Lexa and Anya had full rides to Harvard. Octavia was going to join her boyfriend Lincoln and her big brother at Stanford. Raven was doing a work-study program through NASA. She wanted to go to space. She would be majoring in engineering. 

After the toast of champagne, the boys brought out the keg, and the night kicked off. They played their highschool drinking games. Octavia and Lincoln crushed Echo and Bel at beer pong. All their friends had been in town that week for their graduation. 

Lexa watched as a group of kids played spin the bottle. Clarke came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Remember when that was us?" She asked 

Lexa put her arms over Clarke's and hummed. "I could never forget Clarke. That was the night I got to kiss you," she says leaning back into her girlfriend's arms 

Flashes of their time in college flooded her sleep next 

"I'm starving." Clarke groans from the floor 

She had her laptop open watching some tv show. She still had the login for her parent's cable plan so they were able to stream television shows. The show was about to skip to a commercial break. Lexa had just gotten off a late-night shift at the bar. Some days it stressed her out how broke they always were. They barely had enough to cover bills and she felt like she was constantly failing Clarke. She wanted to give her the world and she barely had enough to cover bills and food.

She sighed and searched her jean pockets. She fished out a bunch of crumpled ones. She sat down next to Clarke and counted them. They had $7 after deducting the money they needed to pay their electric bill tomorrow. Clarke had just paid rent the other day, so she knew her girlfriend didn't have any spare money. She looked at Clarke apologetically.

"Babe it's okay. We can just go to bed." Clarke says putting a hand over her girlfriends 

"It's not okay. You're hungry." Lexa says as tears form in her eyes 

"Hey, it'll be okay," Clarke says as she sits up and cups her face 

"I don't know what to do Clarke. We can't seem to catch a break. We can't afford food let alone furniture. We eat on the floor... we are drowning in student loans. When does it end?" She asks as a tear cascades down her face 

"It's hard now but it won't always be that way. You're almost done with school." Clarke says

"I'm just tired. All the time." Lexa sobs 

Clarke pulls her into her arms and rubs her back. "Shh, it's okay. We'll be okay." She says 

Suddenly a commercial for a new pizza place came on. They had a deal going on for $5 pizzas. Clarke smiled and looked at Lexa. "You in the mood for pizza?" She asks 

Lexa sniffles and nods her head. Clarke wiped her tears and helped her up off the floor. She intertwined their hands and they set off. Times were hard back then. They barely scraped by but they found a way to turn around each bad day. Somehow they knew everything would be alright as long as they had each other. 

Clarke awoke to someone shaking her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and she wiped the drool from her mouth. She looked over to see Indra with food in her hands. She looked back over to Lexa to see her in the same state as last night. She took a deep breath and moved out of the chair. 

"The doctor came in earlier. He said there's no change at this time." Indra says 

Clarke nods and she opens the container with the pancakes and eggs. She gave one more glance over to the bed before she directed her attention towards the food in front of her.


	6. Chapter Six

It had been four days now. Four painstakingly long days that had seemed to move by at a snail's pace. She felt like she was actually losing her mind. She just stared at her wife for hours on end hoping for the slightest bit of movement. "Good things come to those who wait." That's a phrase her wife said too many times to count when they were in college. Her wife was so sure of herself. Nobody could tell her otherwise, she knew she was going to do big things. She had dreams. She had plans. 

Clarke watched as the days continued to turn to night. Becca was too little to understand what was going on. She told her momma had a boo-boo and she needed to sleep to get better. But patience was not Becca Woods's strong suit. When she wanted something she was used to getting her way. Not that she was a spoiled brat. She was quite the opposite. Lexa didn't spoil her with materialistic things typically. She spoiled her with her time. There were many times Lexa would put her work life aside to bring her daughter a few moments of happiness. It forced her to work under a time constraint but she was willing to stress herself out late into the night if she had to. 

After all, it wasn't exactly like she could tell the board that she was sorry for not getting the report done on time because her daughter wanted to watch the show with the talking pets for the billionth time together. Lexa would sit and watch the talking animal show if it made her daughter happy. She lived for both of her girls happiness. This has been the longest time Clarke has gone without talking to her best friend. She missed her terribly. 

The doctor came by and examined her pupils. He then ordered another head CT. He came back into the room with the results. Time seemed to stand still. She saw his mouth moving but she couldn't seem to hear what he was saying. He looked at her expectantly. As if he was waiting on her to acknowledge him. 

"Mrs. Woods?" He asked 

Clarke snapped out of her haze "I'm sorry. What was that?" She asked 

"I said your wife is in a coma." He says 

She takes a deep breath trying to remain calm 

"For how long?" She asks 

"There's no real way to predict that. It could be hours, days, months... in the rare cases years." He says 

Clarke looks over at the hospital bed and shakes her head "No." She croaks out 

"I'm sorry Mrs.Woods. We are still keeping a close eye on the swelling of her brain. We will let you know if there's any change in her condition." He says 

Abby held her for hours as she cried. She couldn't imagine doing this for months or years. She didn't even want to do this another hour. What did she do to deserve this? she asked herself. She can't imagine anything that would have let this be an acceptable outcome. 

Days had steadily turned into weeks. Two weeks and 4 days to be exact. But who's counting? She paced back and forth in that small hospital room most days. Other days Becca would come to visit and sit in the chair by the bed. Auntie Ahn brought her coloring book and crayons with her so she had something to do that day. It was an animal coloring book. Lexa had taken Becca grocery shopping with her and they came home with that one day. Clarke shook her head and laughed at them. Lexa was such a sucker for their little girl. All it took was one look with those big green eyes and her tiny pouty lip for her wife to cave like a deck of cards. 

Becca's tongue peeked out of her mouth as wild lines were drawn over the coloring book page. Her tiny hand wrapped tightly around the black crayon. Her little legs swinging back and forth in the chair, too small to reach the floor anytime soon. Anya, Raven, Lincoln, and Octavia were visiting that day. Clarke decided to use this time to go home and shower in her own house. She's been living at the hospital all this time. She just needed to get out of the suffocating room for an hour. 

"Oh come on!" Octavia groaned as she hit the side of the vending machine 

Raven looked at her with a raised brow. "You break it?" She asked 

"What? no! Becca wanted candy so, like the perfect aunt I am, I dug through Lincoln's truck for change to get her a bag of skittles. This thing is so old it doesn't even take dollar bills. What kind of janky hospital is this?" She huffs in annoyance as she kicks the machine 

Raven laughed at her. "Go get your hunk of a man out here." She says 

Octavia grumbles and walks back to the room and tells Lincoln she needs him. 

"You need me to hold your hand while you spend my money babe?" Lincoln asks with a cheeky grin

She elbows him and glares daggers at the large man. "It ate the money. I try and do something nice and this is the thanks I get. Thanks, universe." She says giving the air the middle finger 

Lincoln walks over to Raven and gives her a questioning look 

"Help me shake this thing like a stripper with rent due tomorrow," Raven says wiggling her eyebrows 

They shake the machine a few times and multiple bags of candy fall out of it. Octavia's eyes go wide and she quickly snatches it and takes off down the hall. "Score!" She shouted from down the hall as she entered the room. They set the machine back and down and rolled their eyes. 

When Clarke returns, Becca is happily eating Skittles and coloring. Octavia has a smug look on her face as she downs a handful of skittles from a bag. Raven and Lincoln all sporting bags of candy as well. 

She raises a brow "Do I even want to know?" She asks 

Anya shakes her head while trying to stifle a laugh at the girl's childish antics. Becca sets down the crayon and smiles at her work. She then quickly clutches it to her tiny chest. Abby walked in with coffee for everyone

"All done baby?" Clarke asks while leaning over the chair to ruffle the brown curls on her daughters head

Becca nods her head and turns it to face Lexa. 

"Momma look!" She says pointing to the coloring page of the gorilla. Black markings fell outside the lines of the page more than in, but it put a smile on everyone's faces in the room when they got a look at it. 

Abby set the coffees down and pulled out the roll of surgical tape she kept on her. She tore off a piece and handed it to Clarke. The blonde picked up her daughter and walked her over to the whiteboard on the wall. She put the tape at the top of the page and looked at her daughter. 

"Why don't you hang it up for momma. So when she wakes up she can see it." Clarke says 

Becca nods her head and puts it against the whiteboard crooked. Clarke kissed the top of her daughter's head and walked them back over to the bed. They all laughed in the hospital room sharing various stories of them during high school to try and pass the time and lighten the mood.

"Remember that time your mom walked in on your two," Raven says with a grin 

"Rae!" Clarke hisses 

"I don't know who was more mortified. The girls or Jake." Abby says with a laugh 

Clarke's face went red with embarrassment 

"Tell the story momma G.," Raven says as she throws her feet over Anya's lap

"It was sometime during their junior year. A couple of months after homecoming. We didn't know the girls were even dating. We thought they were just reconnecting on lost time. Boy were we shocked. Lexa had been coming over a lot lately to study with Clarke. We didn't even know she was over when we came home early that day." Abby says

Clarke thinks back to that day 

Lexa had come over to help her study for a test but Clarke had other plans. Her girlfriend looked so beautiful with her concentration face on. They were both laying on the bed. Lexa rolled onto her back with a groan as she let the book lay on her face. Her parents were going to be gone until dinner. 

"Why don't we take a break?" Clarke asks

"Clarke. We need to study." Lexa huffed 

Clarke straddled her waist and carefully removed the book. She looked down into her girlfriend's blown pupils. Her hand slipped under the older girl's shirt and ran across her toned stomach. Lexa's breath hitched as goosebumps broke across her skin. She leaned down and connected their lips. It became heated quickly. Shirts were practically ripped off. Clarke took off her pants and straddled Lexa again and began kissing down the side of her neck. A low moan erupted from the girl beneath her and her hips bucked up seeking friction. 

Clarke unbuckled Lexa's jeans and just as she was trailing her hand down her pants and teasing the girl over her underwear, the door swung open. Jake and Abby's jaws were dropped to the floor in shock. This was not at all what they expected to find. Clarke pulled her hand out from Lexa's jeans. 

"Mom." Clarke squeaks out as her face went beat red in embarrassment 

Lexa grabbed the comforter and covered themselves. She looked terrified. 

"Get dressed and come downstairs girls," Jake said sternly before slamming the door shut

They looked at each other and quickly got dressed. Lexa looked like she wanted to run for the hills and never look back. She paced back and forth in Clarke's room. 

"Jake-" Abby went to say

"Don't Jake me. She was screwing our teenage daughter while we weren't home Abby." He whispered angrily 

"You need to calm down. We don't know if this is just sex or something more. We were young kids in love once too remember? We were doing the exact same thing when my mother wasn't home." She says crossing her arms 

"That's how we ended up with Clarke right out of high school. She is too young for this." Jake says 

"It's not like she can get her pregnant. You need to calm down. You cannot be this angry when they come downstairs. Lexa has a history of abuse. She was shaking like a leaf upstairs. That poor girl has been through enough. You will keep your temper under control." Abby says sternly 

Clarke intertwined their hands and gave a reassuring squeeze. They headed down the stairs. Her parents were already sitting at the kitchen table quietly bickering amongst themselves while waiting. They sat down on the opposite side next to each other. 

"Girls," Jake said clearing his throat

Abby put a hand on top of Jake's. She didn't want him to scare them. 

"How long has this been going on Clarke?" She asked 

Clarke bit her lip "Since homecoming." she said 

"So you two have been... here. In my house." Jake says 

Lexa hung her head and Clarke averted her gaze 

"Are you two being safe?" Abby asks 

"Mom." Clarke groans 

"Honey, safe sex is important. You could catch STDs or other things if you aren't careful. I just want to be sure you're both being safe. Have you had multiple uh partners?" Abby asks

Both their girl's faces went red 

"I've only ever been intimate with Lexa," Clarke says 

"And you?" Jake asks glaring at the older girl 

"Clarke was not my first," Lexa says quietly 

"Have you ever been tested?" Abby asks 

Lexa shook her head. She didn't exactly know much about all of this. She knew she couldn't get pregnant since she was gay but outside of that was a mystery to her. She didn't belong to anyone. She didn't have a parent to explain these things to her. She was a kid plagued by the foster system. She didn't even know if she had health insurance to pay for a test. 

"Okay girls. We are going to take you both to get tested and we are going to be setting some ground rules. Lexa is not to be upstairs in your room unless we are home. The door stays open when she is over." Jake says 

Lexa nodded her head rapidly. She wasn't sure how he was going to react. He seemed so mad earlier and in her experience, angry men led to bruises and scars. She was surprised by the outcome. She felt like she could breathe again. 

Jake asked if he could speak to Lexa alone. She felt like her heart stopped beating. Tears were forming in the back of her eyes. She didn't want to be here right now. Abby looked at Jake and then back at Lexa. 

"Clarke why don't we give them a minute," Abby says 

They head upstairs and sit on Abby's bed. Clarke told her mother how they have been dating and how she feels about her girlfriend. She wanted to tell her parents but she wasn't sure they'd accept her dating a girl.

Jake looks over at Lexa and then gets up from the table. He pours himself a glass of scotch and downs it. He sits back down and places the empty glass on the table. 

"What are your intentions with my daughter?" He asks 

Lexa looks at him nervously 

"I'm not going to hurt you, Lexa. I just want to know if this is just sex for you or if it's more." He says calmly 

"I think I'm in love with her Mr. Griffin," Lexa says tentatively 

Jake takes a deep breath and then looks into her eyes "I can see the way she looks at you. Don't break my daughter's heart." He says 

Lexa nods 

"Alrighty then. Now that that's all out of the way how about we make something for dinner? I'm starving." He says 

Lexa looked at him confused "That's... that's it?" She asks 

"That's it. As long as she's happy, we are okay Lexa." He says 

Mr.Griffin eased up to the idea of Lexa. They became very close over their love for soccer. He attended every game at the school religiously and when she was offered a soccer scholarship to Harvard, he bought season tickets and he was there in the stands every home game like a proud parent. He would travel out and pick up his daughter at Yale and then drive over to Harvard for the games. He'd take both girls out for dinner afterward. He'd spend all of the dinner gushing over Lexa's skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa wakes up next chapter!


	7. Chapter Seven

Maybe Einstein was right. Time is a relative concept. The faster a clock moves, the slower time passes according to someone in a different time frame of reference. There are 24 hours in a day. That's 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. But who's counting? 

Time ticked on. The nurses, doctors, and patients shuffled by throughout the day but if she watched the wall clock behind her, she would think no time passed at all. She huffed as she looked over at the never-changing girl in the bed. 

"It could be hours, days, months... or in the rare cases years." The doctor's words replayed in her mind like a broken record. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. She had definitely gone insane. It had now been over three weeks. Almost a month of sitting in this hospital. A lot can happen in twenty-one days. For one, the art gala was postponed. She couldn't do it. She could barely bring herself to leave this hospital every other day to shower. 

Woods Inc. had an internal battle over the direction of the company with the shareholders after news broke of the CEO's condition. A board meeting was called. Anya had announced she was taking full control of the company after they found out Lexa was in a coma. The board was not pleased but her wife was a perfectionist. A perfectly calculated human being. She had planned for every scenario. Scenario's such as this.

The broody dirty blonde slammed the legal document on the oval desk and crossed her arms 

The man put his reading glasses on and read the document out loud. 

"In the event, I am unable to fulfill my duties as the CEO of Woods Inc. My duties along with my company shares may be transferred to Becca Xandria Woods. In the event she is a minor, the ownership and shares may be passed to her godmother, Anya Reyes until she is of age." He says reluctantly 

He looks up from the document and the board members all share looks at each other

"That can't be legit." A woman scoffed 

"It was notarized and her signature is on the document. It's a legally binding document." The man says 

"With Lexa's shares combined with my own, I now hold the majority of the company. So like I previously said, I am taking control of this ship." She says with a smirk

Woods Inc. was running like a well-oiled machine under Anya's leadership. It was almost as if Lexa was still there. She supposed that came down to the fact of how detailed her wife truly was. She had planned out the next few months for the company. Every single document and plan was labeled on her computer desktop.

Clarke sat down by the bed and grabbed her wife's hand. She looked over her face. The bruising had faded and the once cut up and stitched face now looked almost untouched. She looked better than she had in weeks just gazing over her sunkissed skin. But she still had a tube down her throat and there were still many machines surrounding them. 

All her friends and both her mother and Indra were in the room with her that night. Becca had her head buried into her neck. Lexa had a brain scan earlier in the afternoon and they were all waiting for the doctor to get in to review it and brief them if there were any changes. Clarke was so used to hearing there was no change, she assumed tonight would be no different. Nothing prepared her for the emotional rollercoaster she endured that week. 

The doctor came into the room finally. "Mrs.Woods." He says 

Clarke looked at him expectantly 

"Perhaps we should speak somewhere more private." He says clearing his throat 

"They can stay." She says 

He clasped his hands behind his back and gave her a solemn look. "We did everything possible for your wife but based on the tests we ran today, we are declaring Alexandria brain dead." He says 

Clarke's mouth opens and closes a few times unable to form any thoughts because she was in utter shock. Much like the rest of the small hospital room full of people. 

"I don't understand." She finally says after a few moments of silence 

"The ventilator is producing oxygen which is keeping her heart beating but there is no activity or function coming from her brain." He says 

Her heart rate skyrockets as Indra asks various questions. She tunes out everyone in the room and screws her eyes closed. This has to be a bad dream. This isn't happening. No. This couldn't be happening. Not to them. Not to her.

Abby comes over to Clarke and kneels next to her. 

"Honey." She says putting a hand on her knee 

Clarke's eyes open and she looks at her mother as tears fall down her face 

"I know this is a lot to take in but there are certain decisions that have to be made." She says softly 

"What kind of decisions?" Clarke asks quietly 

"When you want to take her off life support and if you want to donate her organs," Abby says 

Clarke's bottom lip trembles as a shuttering breath escape her "No." she says 

"Clarke-" Indra goes to say 

"Can everyone give me a minute alone with my wife, please? I just... I just need a god damn minute." She says as she tries to keep from falling apart right there 

Everyone clears out of the room leaving just her, Becca, and Indra. Clarke hands her sleeping girl over to Indra and shuts the door as she leaves. She takes a deep breath and walks over to the bed and sits down in the chair. She takes her wife's hand in her own. 

"I don't know if you can hear me..." She starts to say 

There's a moment of silence as she swallows the lump in her throat 

"I can't do this without you, Lex. I need you. Becca needs you... She hasn't been the same cheerful girl. She knows something is wrong. She's so smart baby. She's like you in so many ways...." Clarke says with a faint smile as she takes a deep breath 

"She no longer watches that show with the little talking pets. She refuses to color or play. She's been sleeping in our bed every night. Rae and Ahn say she cries all night long. She just wants her momma to come home." She says as she uses her free hand to brush the falling tears from her face

"I want you to come home too. You've been fighting so hard for us baby. I need you to fight a little longer, please. I need some kind of sign you're still in there. I don't know what to do here. Come back to us." She pleads 

She kisses her wife's forehead before resting her head on the bed and falling asleep in the same place she spent the last twenty-one nights. 

After a few days, It finally came time to take her off life support. She had to face the music. Lexa being the woman she was, had a plan. A living will. One that outlined what to do in this event. Damn her perfect wife. She asked that if life-sustaining procedures only prolonged the moment of death, that these procedures be discontinued. 

She was a widow now... a single mother. There she stood outside the O.R. doors. She was handed a stack of clipboards full of medical documents. She signed the papers authorizing the removal of life support. She signed the various papers authorizing organ donation. Her one condition is that she gets to be in the O.R. until her wife's heart stops beating. She wanted to honor her wedding vows. Til death do us part. She was going to be there until her last breath. Even if it was an artificial breath caused by machines. 

Abby convinced the neurosurgeon to agree to it. She pulled a personal favor. They scrubbed in and were gowned and masked. They put gloves on her and she was walked into the sterile surgical field. She sat on the stool and took her wife's hand. She gave a nod to the doctor to start.

"After we stop the medication, we are going to extubate her. Once the chord is removed, she may only hold on for a few minutes. " He says 

Clarke nods in understanding 

"I'm turning the ventilator off." He says 

She swallows as her eyes glaze over. A nurse goes and hits the button to turn it off. After a few moments, he removes the tubing from her throat. They all sit silently waiting for the heart rate to flatline

"You tried so hard baby. It's okay. You can rest now." she whispers as tears flow down her face 

A few minutes go by and Clarke feels the tiniest squeeze of her hand. She gasps 

"She just squeezed my hand," Clarke says in shock

"That can happen when the ventilator is removed. The movements can last a few seconds." The doctor explains 

Clarke felt a slightly stronger squeeze.

"She just did it again. Stronger this time." Clarke says 

The doctor reminded her again it can happen for a few moments but that she has no brain activity

"Lexa, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again," Clarke says 

A few moments go by but she felt a squeeze 

"See. She's in there." Clarke argues 

"Mrs. Woods, I know this is hard but she is brain dead. There's no -" He goes to say but is cut off by Abby gasping loudly 

Green eyes slowly fluttered open. Her eyebrows immediately scrunched together under the harsh fluorescent light. She screwed her eyes shut tightly. 

"Oh my god," Clarke says 

Abby moved the harsh light out of the girl's eyes. Lexa's eyes slowly reopened and looked around the room. She had no idea what was going on. Clarke squeezed her hand and green eyes finally met blue. 

"Lex." She says as she moves a hand to stroke her cheek 

Lexa tries to swallow but is only met with pain 

"Mrs. Woods you may be feeling some discomfort. You were intubated for a while. Try not to talk right now." The doctor says 

She is injected with medicine for the pain and she slowly loses consciousness. 

Do you ever have a nightmare that just feels so real? 

Nightmares may be an intense expression of the body working through traumatic experiences. It may also represent a breakdown in the body's ability to process trauma.

It came in flashes for her. The jolting pain throughout her body, the breaking of glass, the sound of crunching metal. The faint song playing in the background. Her bloody hand trying to search for something important. She can't remember what. She feels something warm dripping down her face. She could see flowers and a stuffed animal in a pile of broken glass. She couldn't make out what kind of animal it was. Why is she seeing this? what does it mean? Her head was throbbing. There was the sound of a horn and bright lights and then there was nothing. 

She jolted awake. Green eyes shot open wide.

"Welcome back Mrs.Woods." The doctor says 

There was that blonde again. She felt familiar but she couldn't quite place it. Everything felt hazy and her head felt like it had its own heartbeat. She had never felt pain like this. Or at least she thinks. She wasn't sure. 

"Do you know where you are?" The doctor asks

She looked around the room and then shook her head at the doctor 

"Do you know what year it is?" He asked 

Her eyebrows knit together as she tried to think but she couldn't figure it out and the throbbing pain only seemed to get worse. It was like trying to take a test you've studied for all week for and the moment that piece of paper is in front of you, you don't know a god damn thing. You blank. She had no idea what year it was. 

She shook her head 

"Baby, do you know who I am?" Clarke asked 

Lexa's eyes raked over the pale face and golden blonde hair. She studied the eyes that were as blue as the ocean. She felt familiar but why couldn't she remember her. Who was this girl? how does she know me? Why can't I remember? 

She shook her head 

At that moment, what was left of Clarke's heart shattered. She doesn't know who I am... She doesn't remember us. A girl I've known the majority of my life... someone I had a child with has no clue who I am... 

The doctor cleared his throat "If everyone would step outside with me for a moment. We will be right back with you Mrs. Woods." He says 

Lexa watched as all these foreign people left the room but not before giving her sad looks. Who are they? 

who am I? she asked herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming back from being declared brain dead is very rare. There are cases of it but it's like one in a million. Just like Clexa's love. Lexa will have some soul searching to do. Will she be able to remember who she was? only one way to find out. I hope you all are enjoying this story. It will be an emotional rollercoaster full of twists and turns.


End file.
